Not Even Poets
by ihatethissomuch
Summary: Sequel to What Happens. Find out what happens after Cat's incident. Joriat.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, nor does… you know, DanWarp shouldn't own it either. O.o**

**Cat's POV:**

_I wondered around in darkness. I could see nothing but black and I was becoming terrified. I looked around for some kind of light. Anything. But I saw nothing._

"_Tori!" I screamed out. It echoed, as if I was in a large room. "Jade!" I screamed out again, and it echoed. I wondered around, looking for a wall to the large room I was in. I found nothing._

"_Anybody!" I cried out. It echoed and no answer came back. I sat down and cried. All of a sudden I saw a white light from far away. I looked up and wiped my face. I stood and started walking towards it. It didn't look like it was getting any closer so I ran after it. It stayed far away. I tried to run faster but no matter what, I didn't get any closer._

"_Tori! Jade!" I screamed at the light. Nothing happened. No sound came back except for my breathing. Suddenly, the white light turned blood red. I stopped running and backed away slowly. That's when I felt my liquid on my knees. I looked down and saw blood rising up past my knees. I tried to run away from it but every time I moved, it rose even higher._

_I was up to my chest in blood. I started to panic. _No! This is how it always ends! _I thought. I screamed to the top of my lungs._

I sat straight up in my bed, my scream echoing my room. I sat panting for a moment when I heard running outside my room and my brother came in with a baseball bat looking wildly.

"What's going on? Did someone break in? Are you okay?" he asked panting and looking around, swinging the bat slightly. I finally caught my breath before answering.

"Everything's fine, Frankie. Just a dream. You can go back to bed." I whispered to him. He put the bat at his side and looked at me sympathetically at me.

"The same one?" He asked, his voice cracking at the end. He coughed and looked back up at me. I just nodded and looked down. He set his bat next to my dresser and walked over to sit on my bed. He gave me a gently hug and cocked his head just slightly. His brown eyes glinted in the dull light. I looked at the time over his shoulder. 4:14am. I sighed and rubbed my brother's back when he pulled away.

"Thanks, Frankie. You can go back to bed though. I'll be fine." I smiled at him and moved hair behind my ear. He smiled his cute boy smile and nodded. He walked back to his bat and swung it over his shoulder. He looked back at me.

"You sure you can fall back to sleep?" He asked quietly, with one hand on the door handle. I nodded. But I knew I wouldn't be able to. I haven't been able to get a good night sleep in over a week. Every other week, that dream decides to haunt me. Frankie just nodded and left the room. He kept the door slightly opened. I smiled and laid back down. I looked up at my ceiling, the small spiral patterns making different shapes. I sighed and closed my eyes. But I immediately opened them, because I saw the blood red light. I groaned and sat up.

It's been two months since the accident. Two months since my stupid mistake. Two months since me, Tori, and Jade have been together. I still didn't understand why we were together. I didn't deserve anyone after what I did. I laid my hand over my stomach subconsciously, I do that a lot whenever I have these dreams. Tori and Jade notice too because one time Tori asked me.

"Why do you lay your hand... well there, all the time?" I looked down at my hand and shrugged. I knew that it's because I remember all to well the feeling of the cool steel inside me and the thick blood pouring out. I don't think I could ever tell them that, it would hurt them and I've done enough already. I looked over at my clock, 4:30am. I sighed and decided to take a shower, showers are the greatest thing ever. I get to be alone to think about everything I need to, and I get clean. I opened the door quietly walking down the hall and peeking in at Frankie, he lay motionless on his bed. I watched his chest rise and fall for a minute, a small smile tugging on the corners of my lips. I closed the door quietly before sneaking to the other side the hallway and into the bathroom. I turned on the shower and stripped quickly, I looked at myself in the mirror. My velvet colored hair cascading over my shoulders and clashing with my pale skin, my eyes traveled over my body appraising it until they fell upon the jagged scar across my stomach. I ran a tentative finger over it, the memory flashing across my eyes. The pain, the blood, the tears, the mistake. I reached a hand up to brush some hair out of my eye and felt a strange wetness on my cheek, I stared up at my reflection to see tears effortlessly flowing down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered to no one in particular. I climbed in the shower not even caring that the water was still scalding hot and that my body was screaming in pain. I couldn't really feel it. I let the tears come out now, let soft sobs escape me as I leaned against the cold shower wall for support. I looked up and sighed.

"I'm so stupid..." I remembered how I hurt Jade, how I hurt Tori, and I felt a new wave of tears trying to push their way out. Then I thought of how we are all together now. I don't really understand what to feel about this. I mean its amazing that I have both of them, because I care about them both so much, but it hurts me every time I think of what brought us all together. I started washing myself as these thoughts crashed through my mind like a multi-car accident, just one after the other hitting and making everything worse. I climbed out and went back to the mirror meeting my own brown eyes briefly before staring at my scar's reflection. I ran my hand over it lightly before laying it there. I could almost feel Tori and Jade's hands over mine, that's what they did for the first couple weeks whenever my hand would rest there. I sighed and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around myself, before walking back to my room. I tossed the towel on my dresser and flopped on my bed staring at the swirling patterns again and sighing.

"Why did you do it?" I asked myself. I ask myself this a lot but I can never answer myself, It seemed just at the time but now it just seems like the biggest mistake of my life. I laid my arm over my eyes and let out a long breath.

"I wish I could take it all back... I wish I could go back and stop myself from doing it..." My thoughts began to race again but I stopped it on one this time, one I haven't thought of yet. If I could go back and stop myself who would I choose, Jade or Tori? I know I don't have to now, but... Is it even right for me to think like this? I mean I love them both, a lot, but what if? Jade tells me not to think of what if's because I start regretting things, but I already regret what I did does that mean I can think of what if's? I started getting dressed while this thought sat in my mind, no other thoughts crashing against it or pushing it away. It just sat their growing, festering, and brewing into a dark cloud hanging onto my every move and dragging me down. I looked over at the clock after I finished pulling on my shoes, 6:48am. Early enough to go to school, it gets me out of here. I grabbed my bag and found Frankie sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee.

"Frankie, will you give me a ride to school?" I asked sweetly, the best smile I could muster spread across my lips. He looked up at me and smiled softly, I knew he saw threw my smile but knew that he wouldn't ask because I went to all the trouble.

"Of course I will." He said standing and walking to the door. He grabbed his keys and lead me out to his car, a black convertible camaro. I liked Frankie's car, it looks so fast. I climbed in the passenger seat and bit my lip lightly looking at him. He smiled over at me and cocked an eyebrow.

"What's up?" He asked knowing I had a question to ask.

"Can we put the top down?" I asked innocently. He laughed lightly before pushing the button and the top retracting over the backseat into the back of the car. I smiled happily and put my seat belt on quickly ready to feel the wind in my hair. I bounced with anticipation as he backed out of our driveway. He turned to start driving and he turned to smirk at me.

"Ready?" He asked smugly. I bounced a little more and nodded. He pressed down on the gas pedal and I went into a fit of giggles as the wind whipped my hair around. I love the rush of the wind around me, the feeling of the speeding breeze caressing my cheeks. I just can't get enough of it, that's why I love it when Frankie gives me a ride to school. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back letting the wind take away all my thoughts and just have a moment of calm. A moment away from all my worries, a moment away from my scar, a moment away from the terrible memory, a moment away from Tori and Jade. I sighed as I felt the car pull into the parking lot and slow down. I saw Jade's car here and didn't know what to feel, part of me was excited to see her but the other part still had that thought. I thanked Frankie and gave him a kiss on the cheek before climbing out and walking inside. I walked to my locker, not quiet ready to face Jade yet. I heard the stomping of her boots before I heard her.

"Hey Kitty Cat." She said smoothly. She's always so smooth, like she could say anything to me and it would sound wonderful. I turned and smiled at her pulling her into a tight hug.

"Jadey." I said in my usual high pitched voice. I pulled away and pecked her lips softly. I knew if I didn't Jade would realize something's up. I turned quickly back to my locker and started moving my books around aimlessly. I heard Jade thump her body against the lockers next to mine and when I closed my locker her green eyes pierced into mine.

"What are you thinking about Cat?" She asked. I turned away facing the almost empty hallway.

"Nothing." I said simply. I felt her cold fingers close around my wrist as I tried to walk away.

"Now that is the worst lie you have ever told, you could have said puppies made of cotton candy and I would have believed you, but Nothing? You never think of nothing Cat." I sighed, she's right. And I can't shake that thought, that thought from this morning just won't go away. I turned to face Jade and took in a deep breath before meeting her eyes.

"Jade, if you absolutely had to choose between Tori and I who would you choose?" I saw Jade open her mouth to answer and I shook my head.

"But don't say me just because I'm in front of you." I said quickly. She shook her head and then looked at the ground.

"I couldn't Cat, I never could." She looked up at me and I saw the turmoil in her eyes, the silent battle that my question was causing her. I bit my lip and nodded not wanting to cause anymore war within the poor raven haired girl. I kissed her softly and smiled.

"I still love you Jadey." She smiled softly at me.

"I love you to Cat, but hey I have to go help with stage props so I'll see you in class." She said before kissing my forehead and walking away. I watched her leave and sighed slightly before I felt arms encircling my waist. I felt Tori's chin rest on my shoulder and I instinctively reached my hand up to tangle it in her hair. She kissed my neck softly.

"Morning Cat." She whispered against my neck. I giggled a little before turning in her arms and pecking her lips.

"Morning Tor." She smiled at me like normal and I took in a breath, if I asked one I might as well ask the other.

"Hey Tori," I asked taking a step out of her arms. She looked at me worriedly for a moment before answering.

"Yes?" Her voice was full of worry and fear. I bit my lip lightly.

"If you had to choose between me and Jade, who would you pick? And don't say me just cause I'm here." I said firmly. She let out a breath and stepped towards me, brushing a velvet lock of hair behind my ear.

"You Cat, and no not just because your here." I bit my lip and kissed Tori quickly before walking away.

"See you later Tor." I threw over my shoulder at the bewildered Tori that I just left standing there. Did she just say that for me? Or did she mean it? What if she just didn't want to tell me she likes Jade more? Why did I have to ask? I walked into the girls bathroom and sank against the same wall I did that night. I ran my hand over the wall and ground around me before letting the tears take me. The sobs wracked my body and made it hard to breath as I re-lived that moment again. The cold metal stabbing me, the pain I felt as I cried out, the blood gushing from me with no end, the sweet bliss I felt when I fell unconscious and didn't have to feel anything. Dating Jade and Tori is suppose to be like that, like the sweet bliss of feeling nothing but love, but I just don't get why we are all together. Tori and Jade hate each other, right? What happened? Oh yeah, I played them both then tried to kill myself and they somehow fell for each other by being there for each other. I just don't get it. I slumped against the wall exhausted from all the crying already today. I laid on my side as I felt sleep overtaking me.

I wonder around the darkness...

**A/N: So, this is the sequel. :D I want to thank ChaseLehrman. She has been a big help. And she wrote quite a bit of this. We are doing this together. :D Happiness. I love her. She is such a great writer. Check out her stories if you haven't. And review, both mine and her's stories! And story, here. Mhm. Press the button. I dare you.  
>I bet you won't...<br>You're too chicken...**


	2. Chapter 2

Jade's POV:

I sat on the edge of the stage as Cat's word played over and over in my mind. What would make her think of that? Why would she think about me liking her over Tori, or vice versa? I ran my hand through my hair as a soft sigh escaped my lips. I saw Andre walking up out of the corner of my eye, one of the few in our little group I can tolerate.

"Hey Jade." He said in his normal laid back cool voice. I looked at him and gave him a weak smile.

"Hey Andre." It didn't come out quiet as strong as I would have liked it to and that kind of sucks because now Andre is looking at me funny.

"What's wrong?" He asked sitting next to me on the stage. I sighed, I really need someone to talk to and Andre is as good as any.

"Well Cat asked me something and it's kind of bugging me." I said looking sideways at him. He nodded and cocked an eyebrow at me.

"What'd she say?" He asked leaned forward slightly and resting his elbow on his knee to support his head as he looked at me.

"She asked me if I had to choose between her and Tori who I would choose." I said looking back at the ground, just saying it made me bummed again.

"Oh man, sounds like she only wants one of you now." He said sitting up straight and looking at me sadly.

"What do you mean?" I asked quickly.

He looked at me with wide eyes for a moment before shaking his head and waving his hand to dismiss it. "It's nothing."

"Andre? What were you going to tell me?" I asked in a firm tone. He sighed and shook his head.

"It's nothing, Jade. Promise. Let's just, get back to doing props, okay?" He said getting up, put his hand out for me to take it. I took it and he helped me up. I sighed and nodded. I'll ask him about it later. We walked back to the small group that was picked for doing stage props. I tried to focus on what I was doing but what Cat and Andre said was really bugging me. Cat's question, it's just… how could I choose? Between Vega and Cat? They both mean so much to me. I just couldn't choose. Not after what happened.

I frowned. After what happened? If Cat had never done what she had done, then who would _she_ have chosen? Is that what brought up that question?

"Jade? You're putting that barrel in the wrong place." I snapped out of my thoughts to see Andre staring at me. I gave him a confused look. He pointed to the barrel in my hands.

"It's supposed to go over there by the hay." He said pointing at the hay stack near the back of the stage. I looked at the spot and sighed.

"Sorry." I quickly put the barrel where it was supposed to be and went back to putting more props up. The lights went really dull and we all looked up at Sinjin, who was working the lights. I frowned at him.

"Turn the lights back on!" I yelled at him. The lights flicked back on.

"Sorry!" He shouted down as he continued to work. I rolled my eyes at him as I grabbed wheel barrel for the western play that was to go on that afternoon.

I drifted off again, into my thoughts. Cat wouldn't have had to choose if I hadn't played her. I frowned for the third time in about five minutes. Cat could still be with Tori only, if I hadn't kissed her in the first place. And if she were still with Tori, she would have never tried to kill herself. This is all my fault! If I hadn't gone to Cat in the first place…

"Jade! Watch out!" I snapped out of my thoughts right when foot stepped off the stage and I crashed down onto the floor, the wheel barrel toppling over me. I felt a sharp pain in my ankle and tried to push the wheel barrel off. I couldn't get a hold of it and it was crushing my ribs. Suddenly the weight lifted and I instinctively reached for my ankle, which was burning and hurting immensely. I clenched my teeth at the pain, forcing myself not to cry out.

"Jade! Jade are you alright?" I heard Andre's voice in my ear and felt his hand on my back. I just shook my head as tears threatened to spill down my cheeks.

"Jade. What's wrong? What hurts?" I heard our props teacher, Mr. Chandler's voice next to me. I tried to say my ankle but the pain was overwhelming me. Andre noticed me holding my ankle. I just put my forehead on my knee as Andre told the teacher. I heard shouting and murmuring all around, but all I focused on was the pain. The searing pain of my ankle. I knew it was broken. Or severely sprained. Why did I have to be so stupid? Couldn't I have at least watched where I was walking? I felt hands on my shoulders.

"You need to stand up, Jade. We need to get you out of here." I heard Andre say. I unclenched my teeth and nodded. I gripped his shoulder as he helped me up. I kept my injured ankle in the air as I wrapped one arm around Andre. He gripped my side close to him and we limped away into the hall. During the way, Mr. Chandler helped Andre support me and we walked out of the school. There was an ambulance waiting. I frowned against the pain. That's a little over dramatic isn't it? It's just my ankle. Why would I need an ambulance? But I didn't protest as I was put on a gurney and we sped away from school. The entire ride to the hospital, the paramedic checked my fluid levels all the while talking to me about nothing. I didn't answer often because of my ankle but I did when I could. He was friendly.

"Well, Jadelyn—" I cut the doctor off. "It's Jade." He glanced at me irritably.

"Jade. It looks like you fractured your ankle. And your ribs are bruised. What happened again?" He put his clipboard down and looked at me seriously. I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. How many times do I have to explain this to this idiot? I fixed a cold glare on him before answering.

"I wasn't watching where I was going when we were setting props for a play and I fell off the stage and the wheel barrel I was moving landed on me, which caused my ribs to bruise. Is that so hard to understand? Or do I need to put it simpler for you?" I added with a sarcastic tone. The doctor frowned at me before writing something down.

"Well, I'll go call your father and is it…?" He looked at the piece of paper I had given him with my contacts. "Tori and Cat?" He looked at me skeptically. I nodded before looking down at my wrapped ankle. It was swollen and there was a dull pain but I hardly felt it. I just wanted Cat and Tori. I closed my eyes and leaned back on the bed thing I was on. I wasn't sure what to call it. I sighed and I slowly drifted off to sleep.

_I was kissing Cat passionately. She kissed me with such force, I was surprised that it was Cat. Cat had her hands on my hips and was sliding them up my shirt. I moaned at the sensation and pulled her closer to me. My shirt came off and Cat attacked me with her lips, gliding them down my neck, nibbling at me pulse point. I moaned softly and leaned my forehead against her shoulder. Cat kissed my neck up to my ear where she licked and sucked on my ear lobe. Her breath was hot in my ear and it tickled._

"_It's all your fault." She whispered. I opened my eyes and backed away from her. Her eyes were blazing with hatred and anger. I turned to run, only to find Tori at the door. Her eyes were the same. Burning with Hatred and Regret. Anger and Loss._

"_It's all your fault, Jade." She said with a fierce tone. I backed up against my wall, the cold searing my bare skin._

"_It's all your fault." They kept repeating it, in unison. I started to cry. They were walking towards me, their eyes burning into me, their voices echoing the room._

"_It's all your fault." I slid down the wall and covered my ears, shaking my head. _No! It can't be my fault! _I thought. I closed my eyes and the tears slid down my cheeks. They burned my skin, but I couldn't stop crying. Tori and Cat chanted, their voices matching. I cowered in a corner and kept my ears covered, but it just grew louder._

"_It's all your fault! It's all your fault!" I shook my head and started saying no, over and over again. My voice got steadily louder._

"_No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, No, No, NO, NO, NO!" I screamed no at them. I kept screaming but they just kept chanting._

"_No…"_

I sat up in my bed, breathing labored, clothes sticking to me oddly because I was sweating.  
>"It really was my fault..." I murmured softly to the empty air around me before breaking down in tears, matching the ones from my dream. Damn it Cat, why'd you have to ask your stupid question?<p> 


End file.
